Academia: the Last Refuge of the Coward

After a long hard day of teaching some high schoolers something at some summer program or other (woo, grad school summer jobs), the CowardlyAcademe obviously deserves a drink and manages to run into a vague acquaintance from whom cigarettes can be borrowed.

Vague Acquaintance: What DO you specialize in, anyway? What's your dissertation on?

CowardlyAcademe: Blah blah (long and boring explanation that not even the CowardlyAcademe cares about any more), but then I found this one book that is pretty much half my dissertation already. It's pretty awesome. I'm just going to lean on it and then write on everything it leaves out. It's called Book That is Half the CowardlyAcademe's Dissertation.

Vague Acquaintance: Hey, my undergrad advisor at Dartmouth wrote that just a few years ago.

CowardlyAcademe: . . . really? Could you . . . could you introduce me?

Vague Acquaintance: Sure! Gimme your email address.


The CowardlyAcademe has now successfully networked with someone both more knowledgeable and accessible than the dissertation project advisor. Libraries ain't got nothin' on bars.

Also, if anyone knows how the CowardlyAcademe got home, such information would be gladly appreciated.

Order more books.